Wham, Bam, Here We Go!

A whole bunch of time over the past few days has been spent looking back. Really digging into what got me here. There’s a lot of good in that rearview mirror—and a fair share of wreckage too. Not taking care of my health? Yeah, probably played a role in the condition I’m battling now. Shocking, I know. So real quick—don’t make that same mistake. Especially my younger friends: make your health a priority. I’m not just talking physical. Mental health is real. The battles are real. And we all fight them.

Alright, moving on.

I could waste days apologizing, writing out every mistake, every failure. But that’s not where I’m going today. One day, I’ll do my best to lay all that out, to express the regret I carry—and maybe make a little of it right. But for now? Bottom line: what else can you do? I’ve tried the old “Bewitched” nose wiggle—zero results. And for those wondering, yes, I’ve tried it post-testosterone. Still no magic.

Mid-afternoon yesterday, I had one of those moments—like back in September. Blink of an eye. Everything shifts. Or maybe not a shift... maybe everything just clicks into place. That wonderful Penthouse Dude swoops through at 1000mph, drops something in your brain, and vanishes. No instructions. Just a jolt, a thought, and an arrow pointing forward.

He did leave a little note, though. Just said: “I know, but you don’t.”
And just like that—I knew. I don’t want the unknown to come knocking anytime soon. That flash flipped my whole perspective on its head. A few days ago, I really thought I’d be gone by now. Sounds ridiculous today, but I can’t deny it. Yet… here I sit. And I’ll probably be sitting here tomorrow. And the day after that.

I don’t know when this road ends. But I’ve decided I don’t want it to—not yet. Maybe I never did. I just thought it would’ve happened already. So now, I gotta plan like I’ve got twenty more years in me. If I don’t get that far, so be it. But if I do? I’d better be ready.

Here’s the truth that smacked me in the face yesterday:
I’ve lived my entire life moment to moment.
And I know I’m not the only one. I had plans, sure. Glimpses into the future. But I always defaulted to whatever seemed like the quickest fix in the moment—usually to find out it wasn’t a fix at all.

Now, as I step into this stretch of road with time finally on my side, I’ve got to get my poop together. Start mapping things out. I’ve already begun. And this time? I’m doing it my way. No more worrying about what others think.

JUST MAKE THE POOP HAPPEN.
Yeah, I mean that in a good, well-thought-out, slightly grungy kind of way.
If I follow my heart and keep my head on straight… I don’t think I can go wrong.

Besides, I’ve had my fair share of disasters. But you know what? Those wrecks are now lessons. And they’re fueling the road ahead.

It’s time to get back to living.
And if you’re coming along for the ride—maybe even take the wheel now and then—hell, we’re gonna flat-out enjoy the rest of this journey.

See the misery, push it aside, and live it out with a smile.
— A Simple Man